Tag: Random Funny Shit

When Bureaucracies Collide

Bureaucracies tend to be monstrous abominations that force us to fill out needless paperwork in triplicate just to gain the privilege of filling out more needless paperwork in triplicate. Joy can seldom be found through bureaucracies but when two of them collide they can be very entertaining. When Snowden fled to Hong Kong the United States attempted to extradite him. The Hong Kong government had little interest in sending Snowden back so it looked over the extradition paperwork to find an error that would allow Hong Kong to reject the request. As it turns out, a minor error existed and it may be the thing that allowed Snowden to flee:

According to multiple reports, it was in large part Beijing’s decision to let Snowden leave Hong Kong. But at the very least the US middle-name mix-up provides Hong Kong with a solid diplomatic excuse.

The red tap of bureaucracy has its advantages once in a while.

A Better History Lesson

The history that is taught to children today leaves out all of the good parts. For instance, the Founding Fathers weren’t law abiding citizens of the British Crown, they were law breakers who became sick of Britain’s shit. Needless to say this video does a better job of portraying the Founding Fathers (and Abraham Lincoln, I’m not sure how he received the title of Founding Father but I don’t care) than any history book I’ve read:

A Shocking Accusation

Raise you hand if you find this accusation shocking:

A former member of the Westboro Baptist Church who recently published a book about leaving the hate-mongering group has also revealed that founder Fred Phelps’s anti-gay ideology may have spawned from a gay experience.

Nobody? I didn’t think so. When a person hates another person or persons with an high amount of zeal it often means that person sees in themselves, at least some of, what they hate in their targets. It shouldn’t surprise me if we later hear that Phelps participated in one or more gay orgies.

The Best Summary of the RonPaul.com Fiasco

What started as a seemingly innocent argument over the control of the domain name ronpaul.com is turning out to be one of the best dramas the liberty movement has seen since Jesse Benton screwed over his grandfather-in-law last year. Lew Rockwell, a personal friend of Ron Paul and a champion of anarcho-capitalism, came to the Paul’s defense by claiming that Paul is legitimately using the mechanism put forth by the private Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers (ICANN) and therefore is in the right. What is yet to be seen is Rockwell’s justification for considering ICANN, a government create corporation, legitimate while he considers Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, two other government created organizations, illegitimate, and fascist, creations. Either way Lew Rockwell’s post has lead the owners of RonPaul.com to believe Lew Rockwell is actually behind the attempted seizure of their domain. I expect the plot to thicken over the next week or so.

Through all of this drama I’ve found one summary that explains the entire situation succinctly:

So, we must ask what it means to “own” your name. Can “the” Ron Paul use his name to identify himself? Certainly. No one has interfered with that.

Can “the” Ron Paul control the use of his name so that others may not use it? Certainly not! Ron Paul has no right to tell other parents surnamed Paul that they may not name their child “Ron.” And he has no right to sue the other 100+ Ron Pauls in the United States, telling them that they may not use that name.

Here in a nutshell is the distinction between “use” and “control,” a distinction which many “intellectual property” advocates tend to blur. Ron Paul owns his name in the sense that he may use it as he sees fit — for his medical practice, for his political campaigns, or even to market the Ron Paul Supercharged Dildo if that is his fancy. And no other Ron Paul has the right to stop him, as embarassing as it might be for them.

McElroy’s use of the term Ron Paul Supercharged Dildo ended this argument and, quite successfully, destroyed any argument that Ron Paul has a legitimate monopoly claim to his name.

What’s the Big Deal

I’ve seen quite a few people complaining about the fact that the Senate only had three minutes between receiving the fiscal cliff bill and voting on it:

The U.S. Senate voted 89-8 to approve legislation to avoid the fiscal cliff despite having only 3 minutes to read the 154-page bill and budget score.

Multiple Senate sources have confirmed to CNSNews.com that senators received the bill at approximately 1:36 AM on Jan. 1, 2013 – a mere three minutes before they voted to approve it at 1:39 AM.

I don’t understand the outrage. Since so many people believe senators have the knowledge required to rule the lives of Americans, that is to say they believe senators know every need, want, and desire of every American, I don’t see why it’s outrageous to also believe that senators can also read 154 pages in three minutes. In fact I would go so far as to say the only way a senator could acquire the knowledge necessary to know what is best for every American is if they were capable of gather knowledge in a superhuman manner.

What We’re Up Against

With emotions running high, gun control advocates dolling out death threats, and supposed friends abandoning us we gun control activists sometimes lose sight on an important fact, many of our philosophical opponents are really dumb. I received a screenshot from an anonymous source demonstrating the incompetency of gun control advocates. This screenshot is from a Critical Thinking class discussion board at Hennepin Technical College. After reading this one must wonder how such an individual could not only graduate high school but also get accepted at any form of higher education institution (click to embiggen):

These are supposedly high school graduates. Notice that their grammar and spelling would net a failing grade in any elementary level English class. On top of that the second person stated that the first person’s argument was good but there was no argument, just a long poorly written diatribe typed by an angry college student who appears to be incapable of either mastering the English language or expressing his thoughts in a coherent manner. It’s like stacking stupid onto of stupid. This is what we’re often up against and somehow they find other people that are willing to take them seriously. It’s almost laughable… until you realize that the author is a college student, then it becomes depressing to think about.

Making the Big Leagues

Well it has finally happened, I have finally received my first death threat via this blog’s e-mail address. Overall the threat was a fairly standard affair, consisting of the same tired ramblings one has come to expect from gun control advocates:

Dear Christopher Burg,

How does it feel being responsible for the death of children? Shit stains like you are directly responsible for Sandy Hook! It’s time somebody put you gun fucks in your place. Your [sic] pretty fucking stupid putting your real name on your site. I live in Minnesota as well and I’m going to find you and fucking kill you. Your days are numbered asshole. Its [sic] open season on NRA shills!

I will give my secret admirer some credit for having decent spelling in grammar. A few points must be deducted for the misuse of your instead of you’re and its instead of it’s. These are rather minor issues though and are commonly made by individuals who haven’t yet entered a 6th grade English class. Benefit of the doubt regarding his age will be given to my secret admirer as I don’t want to discourage an inspiring writer.

With that said I think my secret admirer will be relegated to writing canned vampire romance novels. I say this because he shows a remarkable lack of creativity in his threat. That shouldn’t discourage my secret admirer though as the sales of canned vampire romance novels such as Twilight and 50 Shades of Grey have been phenomenal. One doesn’t have to be a genre defining author to make money. With that said if my secret admirer is reading this and wants to be a genre defining author instead of a writer of canned vampire romance novels I have some advice. First he needs to drop the NRA shill remark. Advocates of gun control have been using that line for ages now and it demonstrates a lack of creativity. Spice things up a little bit. There are other gun rights organizations out there. He could refer to me as a Second Amendment Foundation (SAF) shill or a Jews for the Preservation of Firearm Ownership (JPFO) shill. Better yet he could stop basing his insults on organizations appearing on my blog’s side bar and try writing something entirely his own. A truly creative writer shouldn’t be playing follow the leader, he should create his own games.

I would also recommend he reduce his reliance on the word fuck. He probably believes it’s a very edgy word to say right now, and at a young age it certainly is, but such an over reliance is generally off putting as it makes writings appear unintelligent. I’m sure this is a problem that will correct itself with time.

Overall I give my secret admirer a seven out of ten. It’s far better than a majority of death threats I’ve seen posted by other gun rights activists but could certainly stand some improvement. I hope my secret admirer takes the criticisms I’ve made in the spirit they’re meant and not a personal attack against his character. I would be interested in seeing more death threats from my secret admirer in a few years to see how much his art form has improved.

Protecting Society from Violent Psychopaths

One of the unfortunate facts in any society is that there are always a few violent psychopaths. Fortunately our society has developed a relatively effective means for the good people in society to protect themselves from the violent psychopaths. The most important aspect in any defensive situation is awareness, you must be able to identify a potential attacker. If you’re able to identify your potential attack soon enough you can usually avoid them entirely.

To facilitate identification and, hopefully, avoidance our society has taken as many violent psychopaths as can be identified and issued them special costumes and badges. Upon seeing an individual wearing one of these official costumes and badge you should do whatever is in your power to avoid contact. If you are unable to avoid contact there is a high probability that one of these violent psychopaths will attack you with a blunt weapon, electrical discharge device, or a firearm. They are also prone to firing upon canines so take extra precautions when walking your dog.