Tag: You Can’t Cure Stupid

Do As I Say, Not As I Do

When you were young did you ever imitate something your parents did only to have them scold you for it? I did and when I called my parents on it they would often say “Do as I say, not as I do.” That’s kind of what this feels like:

US President Barack Obama has once again accused Russia of violating international law and said Moscow was “on the wrong side of history”.

American officials say they are planning to target Russian individuals and organisations with economic sanctions.

They have also once again urged Moscow to withdraw troops from Crimea, and have proposed sending international monitors to Ukraine.

I’m not sure how Obama can, with a straight face, demand Putin stop invading a foreign land when the United States has a long and proud history of doing exactly that. Heck, the entire foreign policy of the United States is based on invading countries for no real reason.

Senator Manchin Doesn’t Understand How Bitcoin Works

Senators are an interesting breed. They are actually paid to issue decrees about things they have no understanding whatsoever of. Case in point. Senator Machine has called for a decree to be issued that would ban Bitcoin in the United States:

Senator Joe Manchin (D-W.Va.) has called for a ban on Bitcoin.

In a letter addressed to the Treasury, Federal Reserve, and multiple financial regulatory agencies, Manchin calls the digital currency “disruptive to our economy” and highlights its potential for abuse by criminals.

Obviously Mr. Manchin doesn’t understand how Bitcoin works. As a decentralized protocol that can be accessed pseudonymously there is no central point to take out and no way to know for sure who is using it. This means banning it is, quite literally, impossible because any prohibition cannot be enforced.

If Mr. Manchin understood the technical aspects of Bitcoin he would know that he’s on a fool’s errand. But he’s a senator, which generally means he doesn’t understand the technical aspects of, well, anything. It still amazes me that people actually believe senators are qualified to run our lives considering the complete lack of understanding they have in regards to everything they legislate.

We’re Going to Need More Cages

Via Shall Not Be Questioned I came across an opinion piece from a guy who wants Connecticut to strictly enforce its new “assault weapon” registration law:

Connecticut has a gun problem.

It’s estimated that perhaps scores of thousands of Connecticut residents failed to register their military-style assault weapons with state police by Dec. 31.

[…]

Although willful noncompliance with the law is doubtless a major issue, it’s possible that many gun owners are unaware of their obligation to register military-style assault weapons and would do so if given another chance.

But the bottom line is that the state must try to enforce the law. Authorities should use the background check database as a way to find assault weapon purchasers who might not have registered those guns in compliance with the new law.

A Class D felony calls for a maximum sentence of five years in prison and a $5,000 fine. Even much lesser penalties or probation would mar a heretofore clean record and could adversely affect, say, the ability to have a pistol permit.

If you want to disobey the law, you should be prepared to face the consequences.

Let’s consider the logistics of what the author is advocating. It’s estimated that tens of thousands of Connecticut gun owners failed to comply with the new “assault weapon” restrictions. The author wants Connecticut law enforcement agents to use the background check system to discover who may own an “assault weapon” and have him kidnapped and held in a cage for five years. Connecticut already has overcrowded prisons so new facilities would have to be constructed. Back in 1995 the Connecticut General Assembly responded to a request to know the costs associated with building new prison capacity. The cost per bed in Connecticut, at that time, was estimated to be $50,388.

Using a very conservative estimate of 20,000 noncompliant gun owners (since there are multiple tens of thousands I went with the lowest possible figure of 20,000) and 1995 prices to build new cages (because that’s the most recent information I was able to obtain) the state of Connecticut would be look at paying out $1,007,760,000 just to add the capacity necessary to cage all of these gun owners. Again, this figure is a low ball figure since the cost of constructing a new cage is higher than in 1995 and the number of noncompliant gun owners likely exceeds 20,000. But we get the idea that the costs of doing as the author recommends would be mind bogglingly high.

And what would Connecticut get out of spending over one billion dollars to enforce its new law? Not a damn thing. Merely being in possession of an aesthetically offensive semi-automatic rifle doesn’t make an individual violent. The satisfaction that could be obtained from doing what the author advocates is vengeance against the disobedient. If we want to go down that route I’m sure I can find several felonies the author committed in the last week and demand he be caged for them.

Going Full Retard

That’s valuable advice. When you go full retard you inevitably make an ass of yourself and nobody ever takes you seriously again. Apparently these individuals never learned that lesson:

HIGHLAND, Utah – Billed as a call for an uprising, opponents of same-sex marriage gathered for a meeting in Highland on Saturday.

Former Graham County, Ariz., Sheriff Richard Mack spoke about issues concerning the U.S. Constitution, including same-sex marriage.

Mack says that since it appears that Herbert and other elected leaders have failed at their jobs, it’s up to law enforcement and everyday citizens to deny same-sex marriage.

And what, exactly, are law enforcement agents and everyday citizens supposed to do to stop same-sex marriages? Are law enforcement agents expected to kick in the doors of same-sex couples and shoot their dog to send a message? Are everyday citizens supposed to show up to same-sex weddings, beat everybody attending, and burn the place to the ground? How far is this holy crusade supposed to go?

“The people of Utah have rights, too, not just the homosexuals. The homosexuals are shoving their agenda down our throats,” Mack said.

What a strange false dichotomy. By saying “the people of Utah” Mr. Mack necessarily included homosexuals because homosexuals are, like Soylent Green, people! But I’m not sure why non-homosexuals have the right to infringe on a voluntary union between two individuals of the same sex. Obviously I’m not the master of all but from my vantage point of a person who likes to leave other people alone it seems as though two individuals should be allowed to enter into any voluntary arrangement they so desire.

Cherilyn Eager, who helped organize the event, says that it’s time for the citizens of Utah to speak up for their rights.

“We need people to stand up and speak out. We need to get noisy. We need some outrage,” Eager said. ”It is about the sheriffs now coming out to protect the people.”

Outrage? The United States is engaged in several unwarranted foreign wars, the homeless are treated like shit in most of the country, and the police are acting like an occupying military force. If you’re not outraged by now you either have a very Discordian view of things that helps you cope with such nonsense in a humorous way or your priorities are a bit strange. I fail to see how two individual entering into a voluntary union should spark more outrage than wars, abuses against the needy, and police brutality. In a voluntary union nobody gets hurt or dies while in the latter three people do get hurt and die.

Here’s my question for everybody up in arms about same-sex marriage: why do you care? Seriously. It seems like an awfully stupid thing to invest time in worrying about. If somebody was trying to force churches to perform same-sex marriages against their will I would understand the outrage. But when the status of same-sex marriage flips from illegal to legal it seems entirely pointless to complain about. Hell, most of the loudest opponents to legalizing same-sex marriages are the organizations ultimately responsible for the legalization. Had the currently complaining religious institutions fought the state’s attempt to define marriage then this entire fiasco could have been avoided. But you had to get the state involved and now you’re upset because the state isn’t doing what you want anymore.

Instead of getting up in arms about legalized same-sex marriage why not get up in arms about something that actually involves people being hurt or killed?

Bitching About Stupid Shit

The amount of absolutely stupid shit people find to bitch about continues to surprise me. Today’s example of a totally irrelevant occurrence rustling jimmies is Coca-Cola’s Super Bowl commercial. Although I didn’t see it I do know that it involved the song America the Beautiful being sung in languages other than English. How do I know this? Because quite a few people are very upset about it:

The response to the Cheerios commercial Sunday night, however, was all positive — the bigoted social media backlash instead appeared a few minutes later when Coca Cola aired its commercial with “America the Beautiful” sung in different languages.

The calls for boycotts came immediately with tweets like this one from @HappieDays12: “I will not be purchasing any #CocaCola products for the foreseeable future. Pretty sure we speak English in America.”

Similarly minded @Lady_Jay_J tweeted, “Since when did the national anthem get sung in Spanish?! Not a good idea #CocaCola.”

Even today there are people tweeting about this commercial. I’m left wondering why anybody cares. Of all the problems that exist in the world why does anybody waste the time necessary to be upset about the language a song is sung in? Is it because America the Beautiful is the national anthem of the area inside of some imaginary borders referred to as the United States and that most English speakers inside of those lines believe English is the official language? If that’s the reason these people are upset let me help them overcome their pointless complaint. The official language of this area known as the United States is whatever the fuck you want to speak. Nationally, which is the scope we’re working on as the song is the national anthem, there is no official language in the United States.

Now that I have resolved this crisis feel free to find another pointless thing to complain about. I suggest getting upset at the people who don’t know the difference between there, their, and they’re. If you’re going to get upset about something involving the English language then it might as well be something that’s relevance to the language.

Another Bad Idea By Amy Klobuchar

I have to agree with Techdirt, whenever Klobuchar presents legislation involving technology everybody “should run screaming for the hills.” Her history on technology-related bills makes it obvious that she doesn’t actually understand the technology she’s attempting to legislate. Her latest attempt at infusing the state with our technology is a bill that would require mobile phone manufacturers to include a kill switch that can be remotely actives in all of their phones:

Her latest move is to propose a bill that would mandate a kill switch in all mobile phones that could be activated remotely. The idea, here, is that this would allow those who had their phones stolen to disable them, rendering them (sorta) useless. It seems that, as with the other bills discussed above, Senator Klobuchar introduces these with the best of intentions, but with no clue about how technology works, or the likely “unintended” consequences of such things.

This legislation mandates what Apple is already doing, include a mechanism for iOS customers to render a device unusable should it get stolen. If this feature isn’t already included in Android and Windows Mobile I’m sure it will be soon. But the choice of including such a kill switch should be made by the manufacturer because, get this, some customers don’t want a remotely activated kill switch in their communication device. Such a feature could easily be abused. How easy would it be for a police force to call up a mobile phone manufacturer and tell them to disable all of their customers’ phones in an area where a protest is taking place?

Remote kill switches, like everything else in the universe, have positives and negatives. For some people the positives outweigh the negatives and they seek a devices with a remote kill switch. The opposite is true for other people, which causes them to seek out a device that doesn’t have a remote kill switch. I know it’s difficult for a statist to understand that the human race isn’t like an ant colony. Each person is an individual who had different wants and needs. Some of us want to order a giant rib eye steak and some of us want to order a salad. The choice should be left to the individual making it not mandated by some asshole in a marble building.

Land Speed Record for Zero to Godwin

I may have found the record time for zero to Godwin in a print publication. According to Tom Perkins of Kleiner Perkins the war against the “one percent” is very similar to the Holocaust:

Writing from the epicenter of progressive thought, San Francisco, I would call attention to the parallels of fascist Nazi Germany to its war on its “one percent,” namely its Jews, to the progressive war on the American one percent, namely the “rich.”

I can kind of see his point so long as you ignore the parts of the Jewish prosecution where the Jews were forced to live in ghettos, loaded onto cattle cars, forced to perform hard labor while they’re starved, and gassed by the millions.

I do understand what Perkins is trying to say but he really sucks at saying it. His implication is that we’re at the beginning of the persecution of the “one percent” and people are failing to see it just as people failed to see the persecution of the Jews in Nazi Germany. But the persecution of the Jews in Nazi Germany holds significant emotional pain and comparing events to it can’t be done lightly. Perkins analogy falls apart as soon as you consider the “one percent” have the political system in their pocket whereas the Jews of Nazi Germany didn’t. That difference isn’t insignificant.

When You Don’t Have a Laser Pointer

What can you use in lieu of a laser pointer? If you’re an idiot and government official (but I repeat myself) you just pull out your handgun and use its laser site as a pointing device:

Jerome M. Hauer, Gov. Andrew Cuomo’s director of homeland security, took out his handgun and used the laser sighting device attached to the barrel as a pointer in a presentation to a foreign delegation, according to public officials. It happened Oct. 24 in Albany at the highly secure state emergency operations center below State Police headquarters.

You would think a director of homeland security, a person supposedly tasked with keeping people safe, would have some rudimentary understanding of the four rules of firearm safety.

Registering Firearms: Something You’ll Never See Me Do

Do you want to know something I will never do? This:

MIDDLETOWN, CT (WFSB) – There are only five more days until the new gun laws go into effect for our state, that means a dash to register assault weapons or high capacity magazines.

A long line of people stood outside of the Public Safety Building in Middletown all day Thursday to register firearms.

Specifically, anything the state considers an assault weapon or a high capacity magazine must be registered before Jan. 1, 2014.

Remember all of those warnings to never talk to the cops? Those warnings also apply here. Never volunteer information to police officers. Their job is to expropriate wealth from the general population. Their tool is enforcing the state’s decrees. The only reason the state wants to know what you own is so it can tax or take it. Registering a firearm and magazines is volunteering the fact you own those possession to the police. Later those cops will use that information to either tax or take your registered firearms and magazines because that is their job.

I understand why people are willing to register their firearms and magazines. They believe doing so will protect them, at least for a while, from government harassment. But registration always leads to confiscation or taxation. In the long run what these people in line are doing is telling the state where to round up aesthetically imposing semi-automatic rifles and standard capacity magazines. When the law changes again and makes those objects illegal or taxable the state will know where to find them. It will then send its enforcers, the police, to ensure you comply with the new law at the point of a gun. And if you managed to “lose” those registered firearms and magazines when the state comes knocking you can damn well bet that you will be spending some time in a cage. Meanwhile the people who didn’t go for the state’s carrot will be able to maintain that they own no such firearms or magazines.

Understand the Tools You’re Using

When people first become interested in computer security they have a habit of downloading and using tools before they understand how they work. This is a major mistake as a Harvard University student recently learned when he attempted to use Tor to make an anonymous bomb threat:

A Harvard student was charged Tuesday with making a hoax bomb threat just so he could get out of a final exam.

Eldo Kim, 20, of Cambridge, Mass., was scheduled for a hearing Wednesday in U.S. District Court. He could face as long as five years in prison, three years of supervised release and a $250,000 fine if convicted of communicating the bomb threat that cleared four large buildings Monday.

[…]

Kim took several steps to hide his identity, but in the end, it was the WiFi that got him, the FBI said.

Kim said he sent his messages using a temporary, anonymous email account routed through the worldwide anonymizing network Tor, according to the affidavit.

So far, so good. But to get to Tor, he had to go through Harvard’s wireless network — and university technicians were able to detect that it was Kim who was trying to get to Tor, according to the affidavit.

Had Mr. Kim invested 15 minutes of reading time on Tor he would have learned that Tor doesn’t attempt to conceal the fact that you’re using Tor. Anybody monitoring the network you’re using can detect that you have a connection to the Tor network. With that knowledge in hand Mr. Kim would have been able to understand that being one of the few, if not the only, Tor users on the campus Wi-Fi would be a red flag when the campus received a bomb threat sent over Tor. This is especially true when his Tor connection times closely correlate to the time the bomb threat was sent.

So today’s lesson is this: make sure you fully understand the workings of any tools you use to enhance your security. Failing to do so will leave you vulnerable and often no better, and sometimes even worse, then you would have been if you hadn’t used the tool at all.