Tag: You Can’t Cure Stupid

Terrorism Cost Benefits Ratio

Bruce Schneier has a nice post up on his site talking about the cost benefits ratio of terror attacks. Ultimately terror attacks can be done on the cheap while costing us billions in wasted security measures aimed and preventing that same attack next time. Think the TSA for a second, every time some yahoo gets through with a few bucks with of poor explosives in their britches the TSA spend millions on new technologies that allow them to see through your clothing.

The terrorists have won ladies and gentlemen (well they won the second the PATRIOT Act was passed now that I think about it). If you can bleed your opponent dry of resources you really can hold out longer than they can and thus will win the war.

Something Doesn’t Quite Add Up Here

Via MNGunTalk I came across a story that really has me scratching my head. The story is titled The story of two guns that killed police officers. Right there I knew this story was going to be bad as no mention of the wielders of the firearms were mentioned. Of course it gets better… much better. First the hyperbole:

The compact stainless-steel .45-caliber pistol was forged in a factory in Brazil in the summer of 2006 – 4,700 miles and two years away from a fateful encounter on a narrow North Philadelphia street near Temple University.

The author is setting up the article to be about the gun right from the get go.

From there, the $250 firearm began a 680-day odyssey through at least four states, four owners and two crime scenes before ending up in the hands of a 27-year-old parolee who used it to kill police officer Patrick McDonald.

Oh the gunman is finally mentioned after two paragraphs of setting up the gun as the focus of the story.

As part of an investigation of the deaths of 511 police officers killed by firearms since 2000, The Washington Post took an in-depth look at the circuitous paths taken by two guns. One is the Taurus. The other is a .380-caliber FEG semiautomatic pistol used in the slaying of an Indiana state trooper.

They were going to follow the lives of the gunmen but found that story to be too dull. Everybody expects the gunmen to be lowlife criminals whereas you never can guess the story behind a rabid killing machine such as a firearm! The author also decided it would be a spot of fun to target one of the gun shops:

The two guns were initially sold by federally licensed firearms dealers, the Taurus at the South Carolina pawnshop, the .380 at a high-volume gun store outside Chicago. At least three guns sold at the Chicago area store, Chuck’s Gun Shop, turned up in fatal shootings of police, the most of any store in The Post’s review.

Because if I sell you something and you use it in a crime it would be best to imply it was somehow my fault for selling you the tool. This is very important because your moral fiber is instantly known to me when you walk into my store. Now we get into the meat of the problem:

The .380’s sale involved a “straw purchaser,” a person who buys a gun on behalf of someone else and falsely claims to be the intended owner. The Taurus’s sale looked like a straw purchase, with the man who first bought the gun quickly selling it to a felon for a $150 profit.

Straw purchases are illegal. What the author just stated here were the two guns the followed were legally purchased and then illegal sold to ineligible owners.

In one case, a 19-year-old felon acquires a handgun casually, as payment for a bet on a game of basketball, tucks it into his pants and later uses it to kill an Indiana trooper. In the other, a fugitive from a Philadelphia halfway house tries to escape from a pursuing officer and pulls the gun as they fight on the street. Both stories illustrate how firearms dramatically increase the danger in already tense situations, creating irrevocable outcomes from panicky decisions.

Really? I thought both stories demonstrated that violent criminals are dangerous and thus any situation involving them will be volatile. Violent people are violent regardless of the tool they have at hand.

Mack lied on the required federal paperwork, answering no to a question about whether he used illegal drugs. In fact, Mack, who worked as a laborer for a masonry business, later testified that he had smoked marijuana every day since he was 13. But he had no criminal record, and the required background check did not prevent him from buying a gun.

Oh my god! A person with no criminal history was able to purchase a firearm? HOLY FUCK IT’S THE END OF THE WORLD! We need to allow the government to take away the rights of people who haven’t been convicted in a court of law NOW! Seriously what a fucking tool the author must be.

On Sept. 9, 2007, the Taurus figured in a nonfatal shootout at a Sunoco gas station between two men in southwest Philadelphia. Both were injured and went to a hospital. Police responding to reports of gunfire found spent cartridges from .45-caliber and .22-caliber pistols, but no guns. The .45-caliber cartridges were later linked to the Taurus.

Just as a side note I want it known that if I’m ever attacked by a criminal with a gun the .45 caliber casings will most likely be from my gun. Glock 30SF for the win!

Giddings had been released from prison 36 days earlier after serving eight years of a 12-year sentence for aggravated assault. A judge had ordered him to report to a halfway house, but Giddings soon absconded in violation of his parole. When several police officers, acting on a tip that Giddings was at a house in the area, tried to arrest him, he fought with them and escaped. Now, he was wanted for aggravated assault on the officers as well as the parole violation.

So a criminal with a violent past attacked an officer? Why the fuck was he out of prison four years early is my primary question here. Oh that’s right we have to make room in the prisons for all the non-violent offenders our government seems to want put away.

Giddings then stood over the officer and pumped more bullets into him. He hopped back on the bicycle, but before he could get away, two officers arrived in response to McDonald’s call for assistance. At least one exchanged gunfire with Giddings, killing him with shots to the head and chest, according to the police report. One of the officers was shot in the hip. The other was not injured.

I like how the author emphasizes the gun when the criminal uses it but emphasizes the officers when the police use them. Also I’d like to note that the police used those evil bad horrible guns to stop the violent criminal. Wait I’m sure the author will tell us that since the police are better than you and me trained extensively in the use of firearms they should be the only ones to have them. Now to the next story about the evils of firearms:

Jeter later said in an interview with The Post that he got the .380 from a friend, whom he refused to identify. The man owed him $350 from a bet over a game of pickup basketball. Jeter had bumped into him at Hook Fish & Chicken, a fast-food restaurant in Chicago, about nine blocks from where Vaughn said he sold the pistol.

Obviously this Jeter fellow is an upstanding citizen and the gun turned him into an evil man.

“I know it’s not legal to have guns in Chicago,” Jeter said. “But who doesn’t have a gun? That’s Chicago.”

Wait… so criminals are willing to ignore the law? Basically Jeter just made the best case against gun control you could ever make, he ignored the laws and had a gun anyways. When you ban guns only criminals will have guns is the correct phrase here.

He tucked the gun into the front pocket of his jeans and tossed his fast-food bag into a white 1993 Chevrolet Caprice that had been stolen six days earlier from a Sears parking lot in southwest Chicago. The thief passed the car on to Jeter, who used a screwdriver to start it.

Yup an upstanding citizen that the gun turned into an evil man. He certainly wasn’t hanging around criminals or anything previous to owning that evil gun.

Jeter took off to meet a 16-year-old girl in Gary, Ind.

Wait a minute…

19-year-old Darryl Jeter.

Huh. There’s something fishy about that but I can’t quite put my finger on it.

“I ask myself every day, ‘Why?’ ” said Jeter, now 26. “What was I thinking? . . . He didn’t deserve to lose his life.

“I was presented with a weapon I shouldn’t have had. I should have went home.”

See if this poor lawful individuals with absolutely no criminal history wouldn’t have been presented with that evil vile firearm he’d have never done anything wrong!

Seriously this story is so poorly written and bias I can’t even begin to tell you where to being.

Trying to Ban Spelling Mistakes

If guns kill people then pencils cause spelling mistakes. Apparently a North Brookfield teach decided to try and ban spelling mistakes because she sent out a memo to every sixth-grade student alerting them that they would no longer be allowed to bring pencils to school. What? Well he reasoning is classic dumbassery:

The memo said students would no longer be allowed to bring writing implements to school. It said pencils would be provided for students in class and any students caught with pencils or pens after Nov. 15 would face disciplinary action for having materials ‘to build weapons.’

Of course the administration of the school is saying nobody authorized the teacher to release this memo but frankly it’s still sickeningly funny. Zero tolerance ladies and gentlemen means we must all wear Velcro shoes because shoe laces can be used to strangle people. On second thought shoes can be used to bludgeon people so I guess all students must go bear foot from here on out.

Incorrect Diagnosis

It seems that 911 is getting with the times so to speak as the FCC is updating the 911 system to handle text messages. I can see it now we can have quality texts such as:

OMG SUM DOOD SHOOTIN DA SKOOL, SEE PIGS

I’m guessing a dispatcher will be wasting more time trying to decipher most peoples’ text messages than sending actual help to an emergency. What really puts the icing on the cake for this story though is the reason the FCC is updating the 911 system:

“The technological limitations of 9-1-1 can have tragic, real-world consequences,” the release said. “During the 2007 Virginia Tech campus shooting, students and witnesses desperately tried to send texts to 9-1-1 that local dispatchers never received. If these messages had gone through, first responders may have arrived on the scene faster with firsthand intelligence about the life-threatening situation that was unfolding.”

That’s an incorrect diagnosis if I’ve ever read one. The problem with Virginia Tech was the fact there was a gunman walking around killing people. There aren’t a lot of solutions prevent such a case, you can only strive to make the situation end quickly. I highly doubt being able to receive text messages would have allow the police to arrive any faster. What would have had potential to end the situation faster would be to allowed students and faculty to legally carry their firearms on campus. Even to this day if a student or faculty member has a carry permit they are not allowed to carry at Virginia Tech. This limitation means any guy walking around shooting people on campus has several minutes at the last until the police are able to arrive.

If the FCC wants to limit the impact of these types of situations they should be placing their support behind a law to abolish the concept of the “gun-free zone.” Obviously that’s not the FCC’s area of jurisdiction so it’s best if they just stay out of it all together but it’s the only real solution to the problem they’re claiming to address at the moment.

Secretary of Transportation Looking to Require Cell Phone Jammers in Automobiles

Once before I’ve mentioned Ray LaHood on this site. LaHood is the Secretary of Transportation and is on a crusade to abolish all use of cellular phone technology in automobiles. To further this crusade he’s made mention of requiring automobile manufactures to equipment their vehicles with cell phone jamming technology.

LaHood seems to believe that cell phone use has cause a dramatic increase in automobile accidents over the years which I’ve previously research and found not to be the case. The only thing LaHood is chasing is a red herring. Automobile accidents have actually been on a slight decline since cell phone technology has become more popular which leads me to believe cell phone usage has had no negative impact on the rate of automobile accidents. I’m still of the theory that shitty drivers are shitty drivers no matter what laws and regulations you put into place. Yes you can jam a cell phone but you can’t stop people from reading a book, doing their make up, eating, or any thing else from a long list of potential distractions.

I wonder if LaHood has any investments in a company that produces cell phone jamming technology or if he’s simply a fucking moron.

USB is Evil

Most people realize that Firewire has much better sustained read and write speeds when compared to USB but I’ve never gone so far as to say USB is the Devil. Then again I’m not an Evangelical Christian in Brazil:

The evangelical cult “Paz do Senhor Amado” (“Peace of the beloved Lord”) in the interior of Brazil forbids its followers to use any USB technology by contending that it uses a symbol that shows sympathy for the devil.

According to its founder, the “Apostle” Welder Saldanha says that this is just another symbol of Satan, which is always present in all Christian homes.

“The symbol of that name (a name which he doesn’t even like to pronounce) is a trident, which is used to torture souls that go to hell. Use only a symbol of those shows that all users of that vile technology are actually worshipers of Satan” – explains the” Apostle”.

I actually lack any smart ass remark that could add to the hilarity of that statement.

You Don’t Need the Government to Solve Everything

Sometimes I read the Red Star because I find the letters to the editors hilarious. You really get a good feel for some of the people who read that particular newspaper. One thing I’ve noticed about the average submitter to the Red Star is their complete reliance on the government for everything. Case in point I present the following letter. The main part I find hilarious is the following:

On Sunday, the Star Tribune reported on the possibility that the new Republican-controlled state Legislature may renege on its local government aid to cities across Minnesota (“Twin Cities’ budgets built on house of cards,” Nov. 14).

If that happens, how long will a fallen tree lay there blocking the street in the next big storm?

This may come as a shock to Mrs. Ellsworth but you can actually do things yourself. Let me explains a government free way of moving a fallen tress. First you need a neighbor who is awesome and owns a chainsaw (not one of those pussy electric ones but a manly gas guzzling tree destroyer). If you lack any neighbors who own a chainsaw then you live in a shitty neighborhood and should correct the problem by purchasing one for yourself.

Once a chainsaw has been obtained the tree can be cut into smaller pieces. This follows the golden rule of computer programming; all problems can be broken down into small and manageable pieces. Once said tree has been cut into small pieces it can be moved out of the way. Through the use of team work in the community a downed tree can be easily removed by the people living in the area. What a concept! Shit it’s almost as if we don’t actually need government to get us through our everyday lives.

So to answer the author’s question the tree will remain there until the local community deals with it. If you’re all too lazy to deal with it that’s your own damned problem.

The Inconsistency of the ATF

Us gunnies spend a lot of time bitching about the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco Firearms and Explosives (AFT). We don’t bitch about the ATF because of their mandate so much as their inconsistency. For instance if I own a handgun it’s perfectly OK. The second I attach a vertical foregrip to the pistol’s front rail it becomes an Any Other Weapon (AOW) and falls under the regulations put forth in the National Firearms Act. Another case of inconsistency are rulings involving pistol grip shotguns. What is put forth in that link is a great article demonstrating the fact the ATF don’t really know what the fuck they’re doing and thus consistency isn’t their strong point.

Time for Some Fear Mongering of My Own

I’m getting sick of the Theater of Transportation Security Administration’s (TSA) fear mongering and molestations so it’s time to make some fear mongering of my own. Why? Because I’m a dick and sick of the TSA. Likewise what I’m about to write has potential to be true just like there is potential that you could put a bomb in your shoe.

New TSA regulations recently released require any person who refuses to go through the naked body scanner to receive an extra special pat down. This extra special pat down means the TSA molester agent will keep patting you down until they start touching your junk. Additionally the only requirement to get a job at the TSA is a GRE.

So the question is raised, what kind of people will seek employment at the TSA? Most likely molesters and pedophiles. Think about it for a second. Sexual predators like to put themselves in positions of authority over their victims. Many teachers have been charged with statutory rape and most likely went into teaching to gain access to children. We’re probably going to see a ton of pedophiles join the TSA so they have the chance to see children naked on their scanners or if the parent refuses to send their child through the agent gets to feel the little tike up.

How’s that for fear mongering? Not too shabby if I do say so myself. Wait… this Has happened.