A Brilliant Use of Freedom of Information Act Requests

There’s little doubt that children tend to be far more creative than adults. For example, while us stuffy adults are using the Freedom of Information Act (FoIA) requests (and their equivalent in foreign countries) to obtained heavily censored reports about the government’s misdeeds one brilliant child decided to use them for something more practical:

A German schoolboy has taken exam preparation to ingenious new levels by making a freedom of information request to see the questions in his forthcoming Abitur tests, the equivalent of A-levels in the UK.

Simon Schräder, 17, from Münster, used the internet platform fragdenstaat.de (“ask the state”), to ask the education ministry of North Rhine-Westphalia for “the tasks of the centrally-made Abitur examinations in the senior classes of high school in the current school year”. He was specifically invoking his state’s freedom of information law.

Schräder set the ministry the legally allowed one-month deadline – falling on 21 April – to comply, though his first exam is on 16 April.

Since schools are generally part of the state I believe FoIA requests and their foreign equivalents should force the state to hand over test questions. Test questions cannot be claimed to impact national security since they’re made public to every student taking the test during the time of the test. There’s no real way to claim handing over test questions could impact anything a current administration is doing or planning to do. The only excuse the state could come up with for not handing over such information is to admit the truth about freedom of information laws, which is that they exist to give the people the illusion that they can hold the state accountable. As soon as freedom of information laws inconvenience the state they are either ignored entirely or the material is surrendered only after being heavily redacted.

Another Positive Aspect of Indiana’s So-Called Religious Freedom Bill

Helping me as a consumer make more informed purchasing decisions isn’t the only positive aspect of Indiana’s so-called religious freedom bill. As it turns out the men in suits in the marble building didn’t fully comprehend what religious freedom means. There are a lot of esoteric religious out there. For example, there are religions where smoking cannabis is a holy ritual:

While Governor Mike Pence (R) was holding a signing ceremony for the bill allowing businesses and individuals to deny services to gays on religious grounds or values, paperwork for the First Church of Cannabis Inc. was being filed with the Secretary of State’s office, reports RTV6.

Church founder Bill Levin announced on his Facebook page that the church’s registration has been approved, writing, “Status: Approved by Secretary of State of Indiana – “Congratulations your registration has been approved!” Now we begin to accomplish our goals of Love, Understanding, and Good Health.”

Levin is currently seeking $4.20 donations towards his non-profit church.

I’m sure the government will quickly utilize the exemption it left for itself to intervene in these kinds of matters. After all, religious freedom to most of the people involved in passing this bill means Christian freedom. And when they do utilize their exemption I’m going to trot it around like a prize pony because it will be yet more evidence that the state doesn’t care about voluntary association but loves selective discrimination.

As a side note I also want to point out that the stock image used in that article is probably the single greatest stock image I’ve ever seen.

Serving People as Only the English Can

I make fun of the English a lot. But there’s one thing they’ve mastered and that’s delivering insults. Although it’s impossible for me to verify this story I want it to be true if it’s not:

The royal Land Rovers were drawn up in front of the castle. As instructed, the Crown Prince climbed into the front seat of the Land Rover, with his interpreter in the seat behind. To his surprise, the Queen climbed into the driving seat, turned the ignition and drove off. Women are not—yet—allowed to drive in Saudi Arabia, and Abdullah was not used to being driven by a woman, let alone a queen. His nervousness only increased as the queen, an Army driver in wartime, accelerated the Land Rover along the narrow Scottish estate roads, talking all the time. Through his interpreter, the Crown Prince implored the Queen to slow down and concentrate on the road ahead.

While I don’t recognize royalty anymore than I recognize any position of authority, I will give Elizabeth credit that she knows how to troll like only an English person can.

Meet Earth’s New Dominant Species

Us humans have enjoyed our spot as Earth’s dominant species for some time. But there are no constants in the universe and our era is finally coming to an end. Meet our replacements:

Yes, some of Moscow’s stray dogs have figured out how to use the city’s immense and complex subway system, getting on and off at their regular stops. The human commuters around them are so accustomed to it that they rarely seem to notice.

Most of the humans I know can’t properly navigate a subway system! But I know what you’re thinking. This means nothing. After all, dogs lack opposable thumbs. Well they have an ingenious solution for that apparent weakness as well:

Sometimes a pack will send out a smaller, cuter member apparently realizing it will be more successful at begging than its bigger, less attractive counterparts.

Who needs opposable thumbs when you can manipulate a dumber species with opposable thumbs to do all of your work for you? Let’s face it, we’re little more than laborers for our new dog overlords.

An Interesting Analysis of Kangaroos Fighting

A video of two kangaroos duking it out has been making the rounds on the Internet recently. It’s a badass video that I highly recommend watching:

As an added bonus to the video itself Jack Slack over at Fightland has done an interesting analysis of the fight as it pertains to human combat:

I don’t often break down street fights, because they do so much damage to the reputation of combat sports, but some of the facets on show in this fight in particular need to be discussed. Context changes everything. No gloves, pavement instead of canvas or mats, semi-prehensile tail—all of these factors force changes to the form that you are regularly taught in the gym. So for good or for bad, let’s talk about fighting on the streets.

It’s a good read and shows that there are similarities between the way us humans fight and the way other animals of this planet fight.

Decentralized Coding Schools

I’m a big fan of decentralized systems. One of the greatest benefits of the Internet, in my opinion, is how it decentralized access to information. You no longer have to go to a library to acquire a research article or attend a university to learn the fundamentals of scientific fields. While having access to information is much of the battle qualified instruction is extremely useful. To that end a group of hackers have proposed a really neat method for instructors to teach programming skills without having to rely on centralized universities:

The idea is that if you’re planning to work on some programming tutorials at, say, your local coffee shop, you’ll announce when and where on Hackvard, and other aspiring programmers will show up and join you—regardless of what languages they’re learning or what materials they’re using. When you have some time to learn, you can check to site to see if anyone nearby has announced a gathering. These events could lead to the formation of ongoing study groups, or they could just be one-off gatherings. The point is just to get people together, so they can support each other as they learn the craft.

I think this could be useful not just for teaching programming but as a system where already skilled programmers can help each other excel even more. Sometimes the hardest part about learning programming or continuing your education in programming is finding other people who share your interest and have the skills necessary to assist you. Hopefully this idea does well or, if it doesn’t, inspires an even better idea.

Fun with Medieval Weaponry

I enjoy learning how to use a katana. In fact I enjoy it so much I plunked down too much money to buy one (although, granted, it’s not sharp but the point is a nasty little bitch). When I discuss that I’m learning how to use a katana with friends their first reaction is usually to ask why (and insinuating that there’s no point and my time is being wasted). Obviously a katana, like any medieval weapon, is pretty lame when compared to modern day lead throwers. But once in a while I come across a story that proves that medieval weapons are still effective at what they do:

Morgan Jr. says McGowan entered his home through a window.

Morgan Jr. says he reached for the spear which he keeps close to his bed.

“This door is open within five seconds, probably within three seconds; this door was open and he was standing no more than two to three feet away from me,” Morgan Jr. says. “I looked at him, I didn’t see any weapons however I was terrified.”

Morgan Jr. says he was able to stab McGowan once.

Polearms: fucking up people’s shit since forever. While a pointy stick may not be the epitome of weaponry today it can still wreck a day if you get within its range.

Oh, and to answer the question of why I’m learning how to use a katana, it’s because I’m a history nerd and the katana has always interested me as a weapon.

Sometimes Justice Gets Served

With rampant rate of puppycide being committed by police officers in this country it’s nice to see that once in a while karma appears to serve some sweet justice:

BLOOMFIELD, N.J. (AP) – Authorities say a northern New Jersey police officer accidentally shot himself when a dog apparently attacked him.

The history of police officers shooting dogs leads me to take the claim that the dog was attacking with a grain of salt. But even if it was attacking this is still a sweet story because, due to their behavior, police officers should be viewed by dogs as a threat to their life.

Solving the World’s Problems

A lot of people spend a lot of time discussing ways to fix the world’s problems. Usually the solutions involved government programs. Somehow people fail to recognize that every government program has ended up being a wealth transference between the people and the oligarchs. Fortunately I’m here with real solutions. To fix the world’s problems we simply need more metal:

Though heavy metal originated amist working class youths in the U.S. and U.K., new socioeconomic trends have shown a relationship between the number of heavy metal bands and a country’s wealth and standard of living. According to The Atlantic’s City Lab and the Martin Prosperity Institute, the number of heavy metal bands in a given area is positively associated with, “economic output per capita; level of creativity and entrepreneurship; share of adults that hold college degrees; as well as overall levels of human development, well-being, and satisfaction with life.”

Because this isn’t some bullshit research paper meant to push an agenda it does note that correlation does not imply causality. But I think it’s pretty fucking obvious in this case that the number of metal bands in a country causes it to be more metal and countries that are more metal are simply better.

I will continue to help in this glorious mission of making the world a better place by posting metal songs to this blog (usually on Monday mornings).